List of Mugabe Quotes

Mugabe Quotes are the most refreshing statements you will hear from an old man.Below are the best quotes from Zimbabwe president Robert Mugabe

1. A woman is like a swimming pool.Dont bother finding out who swam before you, who is swimming with you,who will swim after you. Just enjoy swimming.
2. If she carries flat shoes to wear when she gets tired of heels. My brother Don’t date her. Date someone who can finish what she started.
3. Ladies How Do You Date A Guy Without A Watch Though?
   Cause If he doesn’t have time for himself , where will he get time for you?
4. If you are dating a beautiful girl,know that a minimum of 3 guys per day try their luck on her,which makes 21 guys per week,84 guys per month,1008 per year..now tell me,can your girl say NO 1008 TIMES?
5. Never go to bed angry…stay awake and plot revenge
6. Noone tells an earthquake to happen,or a volcano to erupt or a man to get married.Natural disasters just happen
7. Ladies why do you think its cool to remove a guy’s cap from his head and playfully run around with it…? If I remove your wig from your head and playfully run around with it, would you still find it funny?
8. If you’re going to get mad at me for getting mad at
   you, then I’m going to get more mad at you. -Women.
9. There are many things we can learn from dogs like being loyal, protective, caring and loving unconditionally but we choose to learn one thing …. D@G STYLE
10. A cow gives milk to the whole village but it does not make noise. But when a hen lays just one egg that cant even feed one child it crows and makes noise to the whole village to know that it has laid an egg. People who offer little help keep shouting and writing about it while those who are doing big things for people are silent. Keep quiet! if you are doing good things for others with your heart, not to be seen
11. When you try to remove her p@nty and she pretends to be asleep, then she slowly lifts her waist to help you remove them.That’s when you know you made it in life
12. If you are ugly, ensure that your account is always handsome. Many ladies will look at a man’s ability to unleash cash before they take a look at his face.
13. If a girl dumps you because you don’t have money and after you have made money…she comes back begging…
    My brother…Forgive her…promise her marriage…Tell her family that you want to renovate their house…Remove their roof and DISAPPEAR…
14. Everyone should become rich and famous and do everything they dreamed of just to see that it’s not the answer.
15. Reason women wear p@nties with printed flower? It’s a way of saying come on guys, water my garden.
16. Your side chick is someone’s main chick.Chances are your main chick is someone’s side chick too.
17. Ugly Guys are the best Boyfriends.They wouldn’t cheat on you because they know the struggle of getting another Girlfriend
18. If your boyfriend doesn’t say “Thank You” after s@x, my sister you were probably raped.
19. Every man must marry, after all, happiness isn’t the only thing in life……And no one deserves to go unpunished.
20. Women are very funny creatures. They hate it when you ask them their age but will kill you if you forget their birthday.
21. MEN ??
    When you build a house let your wife decorate the ceiling, she has seen more ceiling designs than you.????????
22. Wives are like electricity ,If handled with care they will light up your life, But if mishandled will give you shocks throughout your life.
23. Some men are filling up stadiums, some are filling up their bank accounts and cash boxes. You, the only thing you fill up is your pair of shoes and yet you bother God every day to give you a wife. Why do you want to subject someone’s daughter to poverty…. Wake up and go to work…
24. One of the HIV symptoms is Being afraid to go for testing.
25. You need at least *1 witness to prove a murder*and a minimum of *2 witnesses to register a marriage!*It clarifies which one is more dangerous
26. Being ugly is so unfair. A good looking person farts and you become the prime suspect
27. Does your wife/husband know that you are single on facebook ?
28. Lets take a moment and Pray for those girls who do “UnGodly” things to afford a dress so they can Have swag IN CHURCH ….
29. If you love 2 people at thè same time choose thè second one because if u really loved thé first one you wouldn’t have fallen for second one.
30. I don’t understand it When people won’t let you borrow $20 while you’re alive But will pay $25 for a R.I.P Tshirt when you die
31. If we meet online and you don’t look the same when we meet offline , you’ll have to go back and get the person I know or else you’ll have to buy me That Russian Vodka until you look the same.
32. Shout out to the ladies who will go down on BOTH KNEES and give a bl@wjob to a guy that already went down on ONE KNEE,proposed & married someone else…My sisters You’re potential witches
33. So you whisper God’s name during Prayer and SCREAM HIS NAME so loud during S@X?My sister what do you want to be blessed with, Org@sms??
34. Some women be looking nice and beautiful , nails done , hair done but their kids be looking like they survived TSUNAMI
35. “If she removes both her jeans and p@nties at the same time by herself. . .My brother USE A C@NDOM “
36. lf Adam & Eve were Chinese we would have been in paradise because they would have ignored the apple & eaten thè snake
37. A woman can turn a man into a millionare……when a man was a billionaire.
38. Pretty girls got kids , if you want a pretty girl .. be ready to be a stepdad.
39. 1 pack of quality Brazilian hair=78 bags of cement. I quality designer handbag = 10 tankers of water. 1 quality pair of designer shoes=1 truckload of sand. 1 iPhone 7= 6600 building blocks, These are enough to build a 2 bedroom flat. Ladies, please allow your boyfriends to be Landlords next year!
40. A man is the head of the family,& a woman is the neck that turns the head
41. Dear Ladies!!!!!!!Dont advertise your man if he is not advertising you…if he is acting single,Sweetheart act like a widow life is too short to be fooled.
42. When men are rich,they become naughty,when women are naughty,they become rich
43. Men cheat on their women but they don’t want women to cheat on them.Why ? Because they know cheating is wrong,when a man cheats he cheats for s@x but when a woman cheats she cheats for love and affection.She cheats with a guy that can potentially replace you.
44. Its 09:51am now if you haven’t received a good morning text from bae by now, you could be dating yourself..
45. According to statistics your wife is more likely to have a crush with your best friend…
46. Only a black woman will have a dream that her man is cheating then wake up and be mad at him for real.
47. It Doesn’t Matter If You’re Pretty Than His Current Girl.Fact Is That The Guy Is No longer Yours
48. Your Boyfriend is always beating you up and you say “Its Gangster Love”
    No my dear Its WWE SMACKDOWN You’re Dating John Cena
49. A woman can have 10 men chasing her and still want the man who doesn’t want her.
50. My sister your boyfriend is broke and unemployed and u’ve never demanded him to look for a job or to grow some vegetables to sell and raise lobola money But you demand him to grow some beard .Whats your plan my sister tell me?
51. iPhone7 for US$1,500 ? I hope it can call the dead, email ancestors,text the Holy Spirit, detect Ebola virus, pregnancy and HIV…. kill mosquitos and also help you pay rentals.
52. You update your Whatsapp status with: “I love ONLY you boo” and 45 boys reply privately with “thanks love “.God is watching You
53. When its raining raining and raining,white people think of farming..Black people think of s@x..
54. The rate at which girls bleach these days, you might end up dating your ex without knowing it.
55. Men with small d!cks are so rough in bed because they want to prove that Disability is not Inability.
56. Engagement is when a man proposes to marry a woman in a few months, Not when he puts a ring on her finger and scares other men away for the next 5 years….That is witchcraft!!
57. This #WCW thing should stop , there should be #WWW – Woman Working Wednesday . Our society should start acknowledging the women who bring more to the table than just a pretty face full of make-up.
58. Witchcraft Is When You Always Put Her On Your WhatsApp Profile Pic…While Other Boys Are Putting Her On Their Beds
59. Before you give up in life just take a look at the hair around your an@s, despite their environment they still grow.
60. Ladies , remember that data is too expensive to entertain broke guys . Ignore as many broke guys as you can . ..It’s called self-defence from struggle
61. If Mandela could forgive white people for locking him up for 27 years why cant you forgive a man for cheating twice? Stop being childish.
62. Afternoon tall ladies.The rest of you can pick your good afternoon from the ground since you are closer.
63. Welcome to Africa where jesus sends you a Whatsapp message and threatens to kill you if you do not send it to 20 people
64. Have you ever been next to people who gossip so much that you’re even scared of leaving them cause you know you’re next
65. We need to teach young people that a car is not a symbol of achievement. Walking doesn’t mean poverty.
66. The man who marries a beautiful woman, and the farmer who grows corn by the roadside have the same problem…
67. When your girlfriend decides to leave you, let her go. Girls are like clothes, you can never be naked no matter how poor you are.
68. Its a man’s responsibility to feed the wife coz the last tym a woman fed the man we all got chased out of the garden of Eden
69. God has this tendency of taking “nobodies” and making them “somebodies” without consulting anybody.
70. If you have attended over 100 weddings in your life and you are still single, you are not different from a canopy.
71. Maturity is when you stop posting your private life on Facebook
72. Always be careful of what you hear about a woman. Rumours either come from a man that can’t have her, or a woman who can’t compete with her
73. Don’t be discouraged when the ladies tell you they are taken,Most of them are taken for granted!!!!!
74. When you die, you don’t know that you are Dead . All the pain is felt by others .The same thing happens when you are stupid
75. I miss the females that used to cry after breakup.The current ones they just move on like the boyfriend never existed
76. Laughter is the Best Medicine.But if your’re laughing without a reason,You need Medicine.
77. You spend the whole day on social media ,You don’t wash your own clothes,You don’t even know where the broom is kept in your house. As that’s not enough you can’t even cook simple vegetables. My sister your bride price should be 1 Facebook LIKE and 2 Comments
78. Some women’s legs are like rumors,they keep on spreading
79. Do you know why strangers support you more than people you know? Because people that know you have a tough time accepting that you come from same place but they are still in the same place.
80. Make a spelling error on your post, then you’ll see the Ministers Of Education together with the principal and teachers of facebook joining forces to attack you
81. Ladies,when these Facebook guys ask to meet up with you,simply agree and bring your boyfriend along.
82. Girls take a moment to thank and appreciate all those guys you dated in high-school.They loved you with no makeup,bald heads,short natural hair,sometimes even oversized uniforms and shapeless bags.That was one kind of true love
83. If you can shave your eye brows completely and draw them back with an eye pencil,don’t ask for money to do your hair.You can equally shave your head bald and draw the weave of your choice..
84. If all women in the world decide to pause S@X until the CURE for AIDS is found,men would find the cure in 30 days
85. Nothing disappears more quickly than a Facebook couple.
86. Nothing makes a woman more confused than being in a relationship with a broke man who is extremely good in bed.
87. No matter how careless a man is, he cannot sit on his balls
88. Some Men can be heartless.They’ll use you, use your body, damage your reputation and marry a beautiful wife and become born again and use you as testimony in church
89. Check your girlfriend’s body, if she has many tattoos or piercings, you can cheat on her. She is already used to pain.
90. If your girlfriend is always looking good but you know perfectly well that you haven’t contributed anything towards that,my brother you are no different from a security man guarding a bank
91. Broke guys have no right to have s@x …. If you don’t have the energy to work , where do you get energy to sweat on top of someone’s daughter.
92. Even broke guys also call ladies gold diggers. My brother what gold can she dig from you when you are coal?
93. It’s very hard to bewitch African Girls these days. Each time you take a piece from her hair to a Witch Doctor, either a Brazilian innocent woman gets mad or a Factory in China catches fire
94. Dating a slim/slender guy is cool. The problem is when you are lying on his chest then his ribs draw Adidas lines on your face.
95. You have dated a guy for five years and you are pressuring him to put your photo ? as his profile picture instead of meeting your parents, sister you need a brain surgery.
96. Some ladies will spend so much money on weaves trying to impress a man who is out there cheating on them with a girl who doesn’t even comb her hair..
97. Being dumped by a dark-skinned girl is the worst thing ever; because anytime you get home and see charcoal, you become emotional.
98. God is the best inventor ever. He took a rib from a man and created a loudspeaker”.
99. “There is no record of a female Angel in the bible….. Ladies, if any guy calls you Angel, trust me He’s a false prophet”
100. Sometimes you look back at girls you spent money on rather than send it to your mum and you realise witchcraft is real.
101. You always check your man’s phone but won’t check your child’s homework.My sister close your eyes let’s pray for satan to leave you alone.
102. Ladies, ,,if your boyfriend or husband is cheating on you…. Boil water Let it boil, boil, boil, and boil. While water is still boiling, ,,wait for him to fall asleep. When you are very sure that he is sleeping,,, ,,,then make some tea and drink. Tea reduces stress. stop crying