Shirleen Mukami is in tears. The young mother was impregnated this year and dumped by her employer—she is now suffering. Below she has narrated what transpired until she went into depression:
“Hello. I’m Shirleen Mukami, a 20-year old single mother of one boy whom I was blessed with on June 15th 2021. He’ll turning 5 months in the next few days. But what’s there to celebrate!? It’s been a ride of hell and unbearable heartbreaks and pain. Still, I press on
My entire pregnacy was a journey of unforgettable pain, sorrow and regrets. I had thought otherwise about keeping this baby but eventually, I decided to keep it and raise him. I shared the news of my pregnancy to the man I was in love with. The man I knew was responsible. I had already anticipated his reaction and had told my girls that he would deny responsibility. And he did. I was not surprised. But what hurt me most is that I didn’t even tell him about it to try and ‘trap’ him into raising the baby with me. I had decided I would still keep it. After endless days of trying to reason with him, I gave up and decided to focus on me and the human being growing in me. It hurt that he would deny s’thing so obvious. And then when he now decided that we terminate it, I felt even stupider. Still, I soldiered on with my pregnancy. Suddenly, my whole world collapsed around me. I dropped out of college, strained my relationship with my parents, lost friends, lost my social life, lost the man I loved, lost it all. I wasn’t prepared 4 the emotional strain a pregnancy can impact on a woman. My life went black.
The months that followed were pure hell. I never felt so alone. I regretted everything. Regretted meeting that man. Regretted loving him. Regretted the baby I was carrying. I was so mad at so many things. I didn’t feel proud of myself. And didn’t look forward to meeting my baby.
I didn’t even bother with the normal clinic trips. I skipped them all. I honestly didn’t care anyway. Somehow, I managed to figure out my due date. And looked forward to it with both fear and anxiety. Tired, angry and torn, I gave birth to a boy after 12 intense hours of labor. I didn’t have a phone then. And didn’t even bother tell anyone I have given birth. Mom was with me anyway and that’s all that mattered. Luckily, it was a normal delivery and I knew I would soon feel physically better. I looked at my son and thought, ‘ You have no damn idea boy’. And now, the actual stress kicked even harder. I thought I was going crazy. I looked terrible and felt even worse. I didn’t feel pretty anymore. I felt used and dumped. Alot crossed my mind.I would breastfeed while crying. This was just terrible. A mother shouldn’t feel this bad”