Below is a list of the most useless investments to make in Kenya with your money:
1. Invest in forex. If you got some balance buy a Handkerchief, sit pretty and wait for onions. Forex is one of the worst investments to make in Kenya if you haven’t dealt with it before.
2. Start rearing hens and cocks in name of Poultry farming, just because your neighbour is succeeding in the same. Then enters coccidiosis, avian flu…fowl cholera…Mongoose, African Boa, chicken thieves…neighbour’s dogs…you snap one morning and cook stew the remaining capital, yako na bongi mzima.
3. Invest in pickup taxi. Today; gearbox, tomorrow; traffic police, next week; imegonga Mercedes CLE ya Jaluo wa Karen…na dereva wa pickup amehama from Nairobi to Kisii, usiku.
4. Start wines and spirits. Watch Kenya Police turn your compound into garrison, demanding to protect you. Your employee will sell her stock first.
5. Try video show. Now the garrison will be entire Kiganjo. They even plant 1980 adult movie on you, or accuse you of acting one Kamasutra.
6. Try farming; Cabbages and Sukumas. That season one cabbage falls to Ksh. 5. You even beg them to buy. For sukuma, you will realize people stopped eating them during Corona ati sukuma huwapea acidity
7. Become a millionaire through Aviator—You will do a rat race and eventually lose your money.
8. Enrol for MBA when you are jobless….this is waste of money and time. You won’t get a job with the course.
9. Supplying items to counties—get excited that you’ve won a tender with a County. You will regret. Unless the one to pay you is your brother or father,you will end up in tears.
10. Start a movie shop— in the era of Netflix,TikTok and YouTube, who needs to buy movies from a shop?
