Before the dowry negotiations take place in the Kamba community, the groom and his kin must meet specific rites highly regarded among the Kamba community as minimum threshold for a typical real marriage to take place. The series of rituals must take place regardless of where you plan to have your wedding that includes the church. These rites and rituals have been performs for generations.
In cases of come we stay type of arrangements, meaning there were no consultations for both the grooms and bride grooms families, the entire marriage is deemed to be null and void under the Kamba customary laws, making the woman and the man to be illegitimate husband and wife.
Procedures for Dowry and Marriage
- At this stage the courtship has already taken place and the man and the woman to get married are already identified, that is with both party’s parents.
- ‘Ntheo’ takes place, Ntheo is a popular important party conducted before the wedding take place
- It is a requirement which usually demonstrates the bride officially belongs to the man she is engaged to.
- An average ‘ntheo’ involves at least three goats but the rule is that, the number of animals involved must add up to an odd number regardless.
- The goats must be either 3, 5,9,7 but not in even numbers
- During ‘ntheo’ only a small number of closed relatives are involved from both the bride and the groom’s side
- He – goat is slaughtered by the groom or his brother
- As soon as the blood of the goat spills, it is believed that the bride is officially owned by the groom at the same moment.
- A piece of soft meat known as Kikonde removed from the slaughtered goat is both given to the bride and the groom.
- Each of them must eat a piece, which symbolizes an oath to remain faithful and keep the covenant of their marriage.
- Those who prefer a Christian wedding without going through ‘ntheo’ are also legally recognized as husband and wife by Kamba customary laws.
- Food is served to those present at the ceremony, women and children are given soft drinks while mature men are given the traditional kamba beer.
- It is the responsibility of the groom to ensure both drinks are present at the ceremony.
- Once ntheo is over, the process of ‘buying the bride begins.
- The brides kin present many items necessary for dowry
- The items presented are allowed to be for in installments, that is negotiated
- The dowry is referred to as ngasya.
- On top of the list of items for ngasya are 48 goats, two drums of honey (ithembe), two blankets, two sheets.
- They may be also be issued in monetary form
- Also in the list us ‘ndua itaa’ a big goat, this signifies that the bed that belonged to the girl while at her home has now been taken to the groom’s family
- To seal/crown the marriage the groom is supposed to throw another major party to the in-laws, this time the whole village having been invited
- A big bull is slaughtered and friends, family and neighbours are invited for the party dubbed ilute.
- The bride is showered with gifts at this stage which she takes with her to her matrimonial home.
