You are perhaps in a cocoon if at all you haven’t interacted with a Kisii or Kikuyu woman, but even if you have done so, I am sure there are things you didn’t know about these two tribes. We keenly analyze shocking differences between Kikuyu and Kisii women.
Accent
When a Kisii woman speaks, even a market madman would clearly say “a Kisii has spoken”: this woman has a unique accent which when spoken ,especially in English, would force laughter from a native English speaker. Broken English is evident in a Kisii woman.
A Kikuyu woman is modern, with polished English and equally fluent. This woman has mastered vocabularies-in a meeting, her performance will force everyone to listen and clap.
Food
The other name for a Kisii woman is “ugali and matoke”.A Kisii woman would not mind eating a full plate of ugali in a good day.If you are dating a Kisii woman the first thing you should do is stock your granary with maize, fill your fridge with food and ensure bananas are in plenty in your shamba.If you do this, no Kisii woman would reject you.
A Kisii woman is cheap, only a loaf of bread and Soda madiaba will win her, you can add mandazi if you wish-you will see her smiling all the way to your house.
A Kikuyu woman eats periodically and her favourite food is Njahe,Mutura,githeri,chips,minji and pizza.A Kikuyu woman is a woman of class, she loves sweet thing, quantity is not her preference.To win a Kikuyu woman,take her to an elegant restaurant and buy her pizza and any good food in that restaurant-that night you will have her.
Beauty
A Kisii woman has average looks,beauty is rare in Kisii.But there are outliers,who are extremely beautiful.The only beauty about these women is that they don’t go for skin bleaching.
Kisii women are fat, black and short. They speak a lot and prefer being natural.
Kikuyu women are strikingly beautiful and elegant, but as a man you may end up marrying a fake woman.These women fake a lot, they can fake nails,hair,face,behind,legs,skin colour and even the mouth,turning them into a completely different thing.
You have heard something about “yellow yellow”, this term is only applicable to Kikuyu women, and maybe Kamba and Taita.The beauty in a Kikuyu woman is irresistible, to make it more interesting, her smile is infectious.
Wife material
A Kisii woman is a wife material,someone who can relax and build her family.As long as you make sure her children are in school ,she has a house to live and food is available,you will live a happy man.What I like about a Kisii woman is that,at no time a thought of killing you will cross her mind whatsoever,even if you have depressed her to the core.
Kikuyu woman is only fit to be a mpang wa kando.In most occasions, these women will keep you on toes, ensure you invest heavily, you buy plots, build apartments and save enough to feed her childrens-finally you will give up the ghost under mysterious circumstances.
If you are broke, don’t dare marry a Kikuyu woman, unless you want to leave the world early out of depression. But if you are rich, this woman will make you believe heaven exists on earth.
Intelligence and wealth creation
I can attest that both tribes,Kisii and Kikuyu make the best partner when it comes to wealth creation and investment decisions. If you want to be ahead of other men, you must marry either a Kisii or a Kikuyu woman, they know how to bring the best out of a man.
Bedroom
Kikuyu can fake it until a man say “haleluhya”,but Kisii women are simply “flat”.
