Uhuru was overheard whispering to Ruto over the weekend:”Ndugu,hii Kitu Tumepoteza”.
A source close to the two released that Uhuru was in panic mode after it emerged he has no numbers to beat Raila.
In a two hour meeting, the president looked at this statistics and whistled,waa waa waa waa
| Kiambu. 1,173,593 |
| 2. Nakuru. 948,668 |
| 3. Meru. 712,378 |
| 4. Murang’a. 590,775 |
| 5. Nyeri. 460,806 |
| 6. Uasin Gishu. 451,485 |
| 7. Kericho. 379,815 |
| 8. Kirinyaga. 351,162 |
| 9. Nandi. 349,340 |
| 10. Nyandaua. 336,322 |
| 11. Bomet. 325,606 |
| 12. Embu. 315,668 |
| 13. Laikipia. 239,497 |
| 14. Baringo. 227,918 |
| 15. Tharaka Nithi. 216,522 |
| 16. West Pokot. 178,989 |
| 17. E Marakwet. 178,975 |
| 18. Kakamega. 746,877 |
| 19. Machakos. 627,168 |
| 20. Mombasa. 596,485 |
| 21. Bungoma. 559,897 |
| 22. Kisumu. 548,868 |
| 23. Kilifi. 510,484 |
| 24. Kitui. 477,655 |
| 25. Kisii. 544,753 |
| 26. Nyamira. 279,685 |
| 27. Homa Bay. 476,150 |
| 28. Siaya. 447,745 |
| 29. Makueni. 421,180 |
| 30. Migori. 388,967 |
| 31. Busia. 347,911 |
| 32. T Nzoia. 339,832 |
| 33. Kwale. 282,436 |
| 34. Vihiga. 267,481 |
| 35. Taita Taveta. 155,904 |
| 36. Tana River. 118,189 |
| 37. Lamu. 70,224 |
| 38. Nairobi. 2,304,386 |
| 39. Kajiado. 409,266 |
| 40. Narok. 347,427 |
| 41. Turkana. 188,617 |
| 42. Mandera. 168,478 |
| 43. Garissa. 132,486 |
| 44. Wajir. 155,916 |
| 45. Marsabit. 143,541 |
| 46. Samburu. 79,477 |
| 47. Isiolo. 72,548 |
| TOTAL 19,687,563 |
JUBILEE STRONGHOLD COUNTRIES include:
Kiambu. 1,173,593
Nakuru. 948,668
Meru. 712,378
Murang’a. 590,775
Nyeri. 460,806
Uasin Gishu. 451,485
Kericho. 379,815
Kirinyaga. 351,162
Nandi. 349,340
Nyandaua. 336,322
Bomet. 325,606
Embu. 315,668
Laikipia. 239,497
Baringo. 227,918
Tharaka Nithi. 216,522
West Pokot. 178,989
E Marakwet. 178,975
TOTAL JUBILEE STRONGHOLD VOTES (7,437,520)
CORD strongholds include:
Kakamega. 746,877
Machakos. 627,168
Mombasa. 596,485
Bungoma. 559,897
Kisumu. 548,868
Kilifi. 510,484
Kitui. 477,655
Kisii. 544,753
Nyamira. 279,685
Homa Bay. 476,150
Siaya. 447,745
Makueni. 421,180
Migori. 388,967
Busia. 347,911
T Nzoia. 339,832
Kwale. 282,436
Vihiga. 267,481
Taita Taveta. 155,904
Tana River. 118,189
Lamu. 70,224
TOTAL NASA STRONGHOLDS (8,211,905)
BATTLEGROUND VOTES
Nairobi. 2,304,386
Kajiado. 409,266
Narok. 347,427
Turkana. 188,617
Mandera. 168,478
Garissa. 132,486
Wajir. 155,916
Marsabit. 143,541
Samburu. 79,477
Isiolo. 72,548
TOTAL BATTLEGROUND VOTES (4,038,138)
Uhuru tried to balance things but he ended up confusing himself. After sipping water,he told Ruto to look for a calculator.With a calculator in his left hand, the president added votes from Bomet,Kajiado,Kisii and Naymira but still things did not come the way he wanted.
Walking from one corner to the other, the son of Jomo looked at the ceiling and asked his deputy:hii mambo namna gani tena,unaona tufanye nini?
Shaking,Ruto fumbled:hii mtu ya vitendawili imekamata kiti,ama namna gani bwana?
