If someone offers you a lift this Christmas, make sure you behave like this in his car.
1. Keep time
2. Don’t put your arms on the window like a boss
3. If he (the car owner) is traveling with his family, take a back seat. Don’t jostle for the front seat with the wife.
4. Don’t turn yourself into a D.J. if he has tuned to Mayieng/Sulwe/ Egesa FM, don’t switch to classic FM
5. Ask before you roll the window down, A/c etc. It may be faulty
6. Avoid stupid questions like “how much does a car like this cost”
7. Don’t turn the car into a pick up so that you go buying charcoal, potatoes, boiled bananas etc along the road. Did you hire the car?
8. Note: not all hitch-hickers journeys end at Ambassadeaur hotel. Accept to alight anywhere in Nairobi
9. Carry appropriate items. Don’t carry chicken, duck, puppy, chang’aa etc lest you leave your clans man car dirty
10. Before you hitch a lift ensure you bathe and don’t eat a cocktail of all manner of food eg a mixed meal of mbuta and matumbo means you will be belching in your clansman car throughout the journey
11. Don’t rear a snake in your pocket (meaning don’t be too stingy or fear digging deep into your pocket) Even if you are broke, you can buy roasted maize for others in the car to enjoy