You are divorcing your wife/husband but didnโt know how to do it.Someone wrote a letter that is regarded as the best divorce letter ever.
Break upโs are always nasty, and divorce is even worse! I mean they can get nasty, just as this one did, when this Ex Husband left his wife for HER SISTER! He wrote the most awful letter โ which made me so mad, I felt SO sorry for his wifeโฆuntil I read her response. You must read these letters! And you must read them to the very end!
โDear Wife,
Iโm writing this letter to you to tell you that Iโm leaving you forever. Iโve been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. These last 2 weeks have been hellโฆYour boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didnโt even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers.
Can you believe this JERK? I feel so sorry for his wife โ she doesnโt deserve this.
But he hasnโt finished with her yetโฆ..
You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You donโt tell me you love me anymore; you donโt want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either youโre cheating on me or donโt love me anymore; whatever the case, Iโm gone.
Your EX-Husband
P.S. donโt try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!โ
Dear Ex-Huband,
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. Itโs true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what youโve been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping Too bad that doesnโt work. I DID notice when you got a haircut last week, but the 1rst thing that came to mind was โYou look just like a girl!โ Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you canโt say something nice, I didnโt comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with my SISTER because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago.
You wonโt believe what she says nextโฆ
About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was just a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning. After all of this I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica but when I got home you were goneโฆEverything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you wonโt get a dime from me. So take care.
Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!
P.S. I donโt know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope thatโs not a problem.
