Parenting is the only school where exams are given before learning and high levels of performance expected. It is a full time leadership profession where you are supposed to prepare a child to become independent. By the age of 18, a child should be in a position to control their choices and ready to enter the world.
Sometimes you still find big boys enough to be fathers still resorting to their parents for assistance. Once in a while it is good to seek counsel of the parents especially if the child has followed their path. But as a parent you really will have easy time if you brought up your child in the right manner.
Below are some of the things you should avoid telling your children for your own good and also theirs;
- Wait Until Your Dad Comes!
This one is an old school phrase that was used to warn the kids when they don’t behave. You should avoid using such a phrase for your own good. This will make you appear less harmful or weaker than the father and the child may not take you seriously in future. Stop waiting for the other parent to correct a mistake and reprimand the child accordingly
- You Have Done a Great Job!
Constantly marvelling at your child whenever they excel in some skill will make them dependent on your affirmation every time they try something new. Instead, you should make them realise their own efforts and congratulate themselves. This way, they will gain self-motivation and morale to want to do even better. Cheer them up when they really deserve but do not overpraise them.
- Look at Your Sister, Brother or So and So!
Instead of comparing your child with another, tell them something like. ‘I would like you to do better than your sister, brother or so and so’. This will not kill their self-esteem but make them study how the others do with the aim of outdoing them.
- Practice Makes Perfect!
If your child keeps practising a skill yet you keep telling them to practice more, they may end up giving up. They will feel like they are not doing enough and quit anyway. They may have a mentality that they didn’t practice enough that’s why they make mistakes. You should encourage them that mistakes are part of learning and they should work harder to improve.
- You Are Okay
Telling your child that they are okay even when they are hurting is wrong. Actually acknowledge that they hurt but assure them that they will be fine. Ask them how they would like to be assisted in such a situation and assist them accordingly.
- Hurry Up!
You should not push your child to do things in a hurry especially when they have not mastered the process. Instead, use a lower accommodative tone that makes them know that both of you are a team and should try at least faster.
- We Can’t Afford That!
These words may have come out naturally because finances are not always enough. However, it is wrong to say this to your child when they ask for something which you can’t afford or is not a priority at that moment.it tells them that you don’t know how to manage your finances which is a very bad picture of you! Tell them that you can’t buy what they want because you are planning to buy something else better for them. Let them understand the importance saving and budgeting.
- Don’t Talk to Strangers!
It may be tricky for a child to understand the meaning of a stranger. Even relatives whom they are not used may be strangers to your child. Some strangers may be helpful too, say the police or any person who may be trying to assist your child in some cases. Instead of totally refusing them to talk to strangers, just advise them to let you know in case they feel uncomfortable with someone, are scared or feel sad.
- This is not your Brother/Sister
As a parent, you aren’t required to tell your child that one of them isn’t your brother even when she is not your blood son. Always tell your children that they are all yours.