Weddings are important, they make one feel the joy of formally owning a lifetime partner, but when it comes to contributing towards the wedding, people should not be overburdened.
Joash is one of the many people who have benefitted from wedding contributions but he is full of regrets. The father of one narrates how life has become unbearable after he settled down.
“I am full of regrets. My wedding happened 2 years ago in Nairobi. Before the wedding, I had invited family members, my trusted friends and other people whom I believed would help me raise funds towards my wedding. The wedding committee was composed of family members and some close friends.
My first hurdle was that I needed Ksh 800,000 for the wedding but I had only raised Ksh300, 000. So, I had a deficit of Ksh 500,000.I created a WhatsApp group which I used to invite people I know, surprisingly over half declined. I remember one of my friends responding, “who told you to add me into that group, you should have called me to inquire whether I am interested? I am not interested in weddings” I felt embarrassed.
The wedding committee went well until we agreed that the target was Ksh10, 000.All of a sudden, faces of the members changed, accept for a few. Initially, were 12 members but after I introduced the money issue, 6 dropped and I never saw them again. That forced me to work with the remaining members.
Two weeks into forming the wedding committee, we managed to raise Ksh 103,000.But I could see most faces were not happy as it sounded like I was pushing them. It reached a time some of my friends in the committee started talking behind my back. Some would say,”huyu tunamchangia ni as if tutaenda ku share wife. He is too much”. Despite the challenges, I managed to do the wedding.
Now my problem is that since my friends, family members and the community contributed over Ksh500,000 for my wedding,they feel they own my wife. Each time I do something small, even buying a car, I hear them speak, they are not even ashamed,”hii ni ile pesa ya harusi tulimchangia”.The other time I took a loan to purchase a plot. I actually told my friend who was in the wedding committee about the plot, he unapologetically asked me,”kumbe hii pesa ya harusi ilikuwa mingi hvi”.I felt like slapping him.
I feel sorry for myself, I feel worn out, I feel bitter. Sometime I wish I didn’t involve people in my wedding. If I had took a loan to finance my wedding without bothering people, all these things could not be happening.
Due to what I have faced,I advise those who are planning to do a wedding not to bother other people.It’s good you raise the full amount yourself and only call people to celebrate”.
