Luo dowry payment involves eating celebrations, payment of cows, goats, sheep and money. Below is the full procedure of how the dowry is paid according to the Luo traditions:
Procedure 1
- Visit the Lady’s family for an official Introduction
- Be accompanied by one or two of your age mates, together with one elder.
- All of the people accompanying you, you know you well
- The elder should know the marriage laws well.
- In this visit, you will take to the lady’s family ‘ayie’(I agree)
- “Ayie” shows you have embraced and accepted to marry the lady
- In this visit, the elder should do most of the talking
The previous generation allowed for “Yuecho” (abduction) of carrying away the lady to the husband’s house, this takes place before “Ayie” (acceptance). This took place once the man identified the perfect match and noted her all her movements, it would happen during the planned date, the man alongside other men would kidnap the lady, it would be noted the girl would scream, but not even the passerby would be concerned.
“Amen” otherwise known as wrestling, the man would wrestle the brothers before the girl was forcefully taken. In some cases it would be the man wrestling the same woman he wants as his wife, if he won he would take her, but if he was unable to defeat the woman, he would be seen as a weak man however, this is no longer practiced, leading us to the next procedure practiced currently;
Procedure 2
- Still in the same visit, the lady’s mom should prepare for you chicken and beef slaughtered on the same day
- After the meal, you as the man, is required to give some amount of money to the girl’s father and mother and the elders.
- The money should be given separately, in an envelope
- One is required to give money, according to their financial ability
- In Luo, the law does not allow the man to stay until 6pm
- You as the man, must leave before 6pm
- After “ayie” visit, one is given some time to go and prepare and come back for dowry negotiations.
- Customary it takes up to five weeks but in this current generation, they take longer than the previous generation five weeks’ time.
- Long time ago before the luo customs were adjusted, the customs were pegged on the number of cows to be paid as dowry at twelve.
Procedure 3
- Marriage negotiations take place, after two parties, both form the girl’s and boy’s family come to an agreement.
- The dowry is paid
- Set a date for marriage
- The girl to be married will be locked indoors for three days, this is before the due date.
- On the day of marriage, the girl’s parents release their girl to you
- The same day, you are supposed to spend the night with your wife, to confirm if she is a virgin.
- The confirmation is done by the grandmother of the girl and not the man.
- The marriage union is respected in the Luo community
- Those who do not follow the procedure and the right channel are not accorded the same respect by their in-laws compared to those who have followed through and observed the tradition
